Parenting is hard…


Yes, I have been absent from my blogging.  I literally forgot.  How does one forget to blog?  When ones loved ones are hurting and you can’t do anything to help them and you feel like the pain is your own.

That is how that past 7 weeks have been for me.  I have been stressed beyond belief and have been praying my brains out.  Literally.  If the haunting topic pops up in my mind, I pray.  Then pray again, harder.  I have literally been trying to “give this to God”.  It is soooo hard.  Things out of our control (but we kinda wonder if we can do something or anything) are ridiculously hard to come to any peace with.  Especially with our children.

What I have found is that kids are mean.  Adults are mean, too, but we can choose whether or not to associate with them or for that fact, even have to see them.  But kids, especially mine, are with the same kids day in and day out because our school is small.  I used to think that it was amazing as they can build long time relationships, but now I see it can be a curse as well.  I am mad, sad, overeating, under-eating, wishing it was me and just wondering what I can do to help.

I am not going to give any other details as I hope things will work them selves out and one day this too, will be behind us.

My conclusion, parenting is just PLAIN HARD.  Every stage, every new challenge they face is a new one for me too!  This just happens to be the trial that was set before us.  I do not know how it will turn out but my faith is strong.  Can your faith be strong and you worry at the same time?  I, personally, think so.   So, I will carry on.  Love my kids with all of heart.  And know, there is always a mountain and a valley.  I’m not sure which one we are in, but I hope I am an example to my kids that we can face them both head on and be okay.




Ok, the third commandment in the Bible is “Do not take the Lords name in vain”.  That seems pretty straight forward.  I take that as do not say his name casually or in another way unless you a praying to him or talking directly about him.   But considering all of the terrible things people say these days, saying “oh my GAAAWWWDDD” doesn’t seem to be the worst, if you catch my drift.  But it drives me CRAZY!!!

I once heard a pastor say the third commandment is possibly the most neglected because of “the tendency we all have to dismiss its significance.” He meant that it’s easy to let this command slide when there are other more serious-sounding sins happening, like, do not kill your neighbor!  But it IS listed among some very serious commandments so I did a little research as it seems to me people are a little confused about this commandment.

James 1:26 says this with some strong words, “Those who consider themselves religious and yet do not keep a tight rein on their tongues deceive themselves, and their religion is worthless.”  The truth is we don’t always represent our faith well, believe me, I am so thankful for forgiveness and grace.  It is a little scary to think that even little things matter to the heart of God but I also find great comfort in that.  How do you get our set of morals and ethics?  I would guess a high majority of people would say the commandments.  So, why would we not take the third commandment as seriously as we do the other 9?? Murder?  Terrible.  Adultery?  Wrong.  Stealing?  Wrong.  Honoring your mom and dad?  Sometimes not easy but God says it’s important.  It’s in the top 10!!!

Our words reveal our character and our heart and the Bible says “for what the mouth speaks the heart is full of”.  Do I think many of the people who say “oh my GAAWWWD” aren’t believers?  NO WAY!!!  I think they have just forgotten how holy God’s name is and how it shouldn’t be thrown around like Bob or Roger or Jenny.  Say “oh my Jenny”!

Do I stumble constantly with the commandments?  Well, I definitely struggle with coveting things that belong to my neighbor, and occasionally I lie(lightning bolt) but I do not take the Lords name in vain.  I do not let my children say it either.  It seems one of the easiest of all the commandments if you ask me.

Can we, consider, removing this phrase from our vocabulary?  Unless we are praying or having Bible study?  Can we faithfully follow Commandment #3?  Forgive your self when you slip, but keep it on the forefront of our minds?  Just a thought.



Sometimes you need Dots.

Today my friend brought me a giant box of Dots.  Yes, I know, I may be the only person who likes them, and truth be told, I have been CRAVING them for months.  Don’t ask.  There is absolutely no reason- it’s just because.

Man, she made my day!  People these days  feel if they aren’t going to make a big impact or splash, then why do it.  We are busy, hurrying, hustling for whatever is next.  When someone takes literally 5 seconds, and does something, even a box of Dots, it can really make someone(me) feel really good, really loved, and really known.  You know what I mean?  Little things make a DIFFERENCE.  Holding the door for a stranger, taking a shopping cart from someone coming out of Target when you are going in…  especially a mom with little kids, giving your friend a meaningful text just because you thought about them, and definitely giving her a box of her favorite candy after a tough week.

Why are we so scared to show our feelings?  To barely go out of our way to make someone smile?  To help people remember that goodness exists.  I think, usually, it’s because we are so wound up and focused on a really small area of the world-ours.  We need to look around and notice people.  Get out of our own hustle(that’s all the BS stuff that we make way over prioritized) and enjoy our life for a second.  Every text DOES NOT need to be answered the second it pops up.  Every email DOES NOT need to be responded to immediately.  The world will, literally, go on for 5 more minutes with out your immediate response.

So, look up and AWAY from your phone, smile at a stranger, and quit HUSTLING for your worth.



The stages of a headache…

So, yesterday I had the worst headache I can remember for a long while.  I mean, I layed on the couch for the ENTIRE day.  Dishes piled up, laundry layer on the floor, the kids thought they may starve because I couldn’t make them food, although they are %100 capable of doing so by themselves.  I wondered several times if I had, in fact, brushed my teeth that morning before the armegedoen of headache started.

Here’s how my head went through about 5 hundred stages of “headache-brain”.

First, I tried to will myself better.  Nope.

I tried to hydrate the crap out of myself.  (while continuing to lay on the couch with my eyes mostly closed.)

Then, I tried to watch TV with my eyes closed while praying to let the headache pass.

I text some friends to feel bad for me…

I tried, several times just to be sure, to eat my current favorite candy, Dots, in hopes that it would help.  I was sure it would.  Nope.

If Dots didn’t work, then pizza would FOR SURE.  3 cheesey pieces later…  nothing.

Different posisitons on the couch, a blanket, no blanket, Doritos.  No relief.

I was sure that because I was on the couch and not accomplishing a thing, my friends suddenly didn’t like me, I was fat, out of shape and my husband thought I was a mess.  My crazy headache spiraled me into a dilusional “I must suck” mind set.  WHAT???!!!  How does that even happen?

My constant state of guilt about this or that had been multiplied by the fact that it was also and BEAUTIFUL day outside.  And I HATE winter so I have pounded into my own head that if I miss one second of one day outside that I have WASTED some precious time that I can NEVER get back.  Wow.  Guilt is a killer.

So, about 8pm last night, I finally started to get relief.  I knew bedtime was around the corner and this brutal day could float off into dreamland.  YES!  Then the crazy started to subside.  You know, the swirling mind crap that you can’t seem to turn off after it starts?  Then, about the time I went to sleep the rainbow appeared.  The “your okay/slow down the crazy/most people love a sick day on the couch” and no one disowned me or even, for that fact, knew I had a headache.  So, how could they comfort me and “pity me” if they did’t even know!  Wow.  Women’s minds are bat-shit crazy.

The other thing I did that helped me get through the day was a few prayers.  A converstation with God always turns the direction of the spiral around or at least keeps it from getting worse.  Perspective is what I needed.

How is today?  Awesome!  Stuff is happening and getting done.  What a difference a day makes!










What’s your secret?

I have had many people over time ask me what I use to wash my clothes as they smell really good, if I do say so:).   I’ve always said I would post this, but never have…  So, here we go!

I do, really do, love the smell of fresh clean laundry.  I realize that not everyone can use scented stuff, so if that’s you, stop now and come back next time.  But if you love that super smell when you pull your shirt over your head, then maybe you should try these…

I have used this combo for years.  It’s not the most expensive stuff but it does smell amazing.  Tide for front loaders with either Febreeze, Downy or whatever added smelly thing they offer.  Then I use a Snuggle pod booster directly in the washer, and Snuggle softener during the wash and of course a Snuggle sheet in the dryer.

I also use the Tide front loader cleaner about once a month in the washer.  I have found that if you leave the from loader washer door shut when it’s still wet in there, it can get a little smelly.  Yuck.  I leave the washer doors open for as long as I can after using… let it dry out.  That’s the trick!  And your welcome!

I plan to post more things like this in the future… I love to share!



PB & J… when did that become wrong?

So, when did peanut butter and jelly toast become wrong?  Bad for you?  Taboo?  And a banana?  Too much sugar?  Yes, I literally went with out these foods for a long time because I BELIEVED that they were “bad”.  That they would make me fat, gross, unlikable.  Does that sound ridiculous?  Well, for someone dealing with an eating disorder it is how I thought.  I was also told, and then believed, carrots also have too much sugar.  Carrots?  man, when a person is in the throes of disordered eating, you believe anything that MAY help you lose weight.  ANYTHING.  You will go to the ends of earth researching how to lose weight, quickly.  Permanently.  So, 25ish years of following numerous and exceeding harder to follow restrictions, I had made myself INSANE.  That’s where the carrots and bananas and absolutely no bread or peanut butter or jelly was acceptable.

Women have put so much pressure on ourselves thinking the only way to be happy is to be thin.  Or whatever thin is to you.  Believe me, it’s different for every single woman.  My goal weight was someone elses starting point.  My current weight was someone elses dream.  WHAT???!!!  How messed up is that?

Heres what I am SLOWLY learning and practicing and journaling about:

  2. Food is food.  Not good or bad.  That is a moral distinction.  Food is NOT MORAL.
  3. PB and J toast is amazing.  Nuf said.
  4. Worrying about food and what your next meal is, is a terrible waste of time.  The world needs more of you!
  5. Instead of worrying about our weight, let’s worry about helping our children, our communities our world.  Lets be brave and kind.
  6. Everything is okay in moderation.  TRUTH.

God made us just the way we are today.  Can we respect ourselves and take care of the one body we get there on earth.  DEFINITELY.  We do not know what tomorrow brings.  Let’s make the most of today.  Tight jeans or not.




Cell Phone Etiquette…

Today my bible study group met.  And we were talking about cell phones and how in one of the middle schools they literally had to send out a memo to students about “communication”.  I.E. Talking to a real life person.  WHAT???!!!  We need to be reminded to use our actual voice and speak to one another???  Wow.  We decided that technogy is amazing, but that we need some phone etiqutte.  STAT.

Lets get a few things straight.  I am not perfect, nor do I claim to be.  Do I talk on the phone at innapropriate times?  Yep.  But I am also trying to be a good person and not rude.

There are some undeniable times that YOU SHOULD GET OFF YOUR PHONE!  I will list a few:

  1. When on the toliet in a public restroom.
  2. When checking out at the grocery store, Starbucks, the convenince store, fast food place, etc…  The person helping you is just that…  A PERSON.  Give them 20 seconds of your time.
  3. when you are having a converstaion with anyone!  You can, of course, excuse your self and answer the call, email or text.
  4. When you are at a school play, concert, or recital.  Kids know what you think is important by your actions.  And for heavens sake, put your phone on silent!!!
  5. When a child is trying to talk to you.  Look at them.  Teach them they are important and what they say is of importance to you.
  6. when you are driving.  Use your bluetooth and pay attention to the road!
  7. And, finally, STOP checking your phone every 2 seconds when you are having a meal with your family or friends.  ITS ANNOYING. And Unpatriotic.  Okay, they may not be true but I needed a reason to use the flag picture.

Lets lift up our faces and look people in the eye.  It’s old fashioned, I know, but what is more important than personal time with a HUMAN?  Nothing.  God will not care how many emails you answered in under 5 seconds.  He will care about how you treated people.